It seems several people throughout the blogosphere are very confused today. As it happens today is not my birthday. My birthday is on the other side of the year, you’d be hard pressed to be further off the mark than July 10.

It seems that a great many people have begun following my teachings. I, of course, cannot discern my teaching within what they claim to believe, but I suppose that is neither here nor there. Besides, I really wouldn’t want to take glory away from God by having people celebrate my birthday with conferences and the like.

Also, we really need to get something out in the open: I am nowhere near 500 years old, and I find it somehow insulting that you all think I am. I’ve been told I was mature for my age, but really–500? If I was 500, I’d know far more languages than I do at present.

And for the last time, my first name is not John!